My First Love: Finding Myself Again

They say your first love is something that changes you, and for the longest time, I thought it was about a person—someone who comes into your life and changes you entirely. Someone who would make my heart race and to whom I would give my all. But now I know the truth.

The only first love you truly need in your life is yourself.

There was a time when I didn’t doubt myself, a time when I laughed without hesitation, spoke my mind without fear of being judged, and chased adventures on my own without waiting to be invited. That girl who was fearless, goofy, and full of life—she was my first love. At least, she should have been.

But somewhere along the way, I lost her.

 

The Girl I Used to Be

She was the kind of girl who would dance for no reason, who found joy in the smallest things: a late-night walk, an unplanned trip, a heartfelt conversation. She was loud, unapologetic, and full of dreams. She believed in love, in friendships, and in herself. She never hesitated to take the first step, reach out, or express how she felt. She didn’t wait for anyone to make her feel special; she just was.

 

When Did I Start Losing Her?

I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment I started losing her. Maybe it was when I began caring too much about what others thought. Perhaps it was when I poured all my energy into making someone feel valued, only to realize that someone should have been me. Maybe it was when I started waiting—waiting to be understood, to be chosen, for someone to notice the effort I put in.

I became quieter, not because I had nothing to say, but because I was tired of speaking and not being heard. I started holding back, not because I stopped feeling things deeply, but because I didn’t want to seem “too much.” I began putting others first, not because I didn’t deserve to be a priority, but because I convinced myself that understanding others was more important than being understood.

And slowly, without realizing it, I became someone I barely recognized.

 

 

Choosing Myself Again

One day, I woke up and realized that I was tired. Tired of chasing, tired of proving, tired of being unheard, and most of all tired of feeling I was never enough.

And that’s when I decided, if no one else were to choose me, I would.

So, I stopped waiting. I stopped making myself go through everything to make others feel comfortable. I stopped over-explaining my feelings to people who never tried to understand them in the first place. I stopped fighting for people who wouldn’t fight for me.

Instead, I started loving myself.

I started doing things that made me happy, no matter how small. I started laughing without overthinking, making plans for myself, and putting my needs first. I started setting boundaries, not to push people away, but to remind myself that I deserve to be treated better.

I am still learning. Some days, I slip back into old habits, still craving the validation I once lived for. But now, I remind myself that I don’t need anyone else to make me feel whole.

 

The First Love You Need

The first love you need in life isn’t a person. It’s not the one who made your heart race or the one who almost stayed.

It’s you.

The love you give yourself is the foundation of every other love in your life. It’s the kind of love that won’t leave when things get hard and won’t make you feel like you’re too much or not enough. The kind that reminds you that you deserve the same energy you pour into others.

So today, I choose myself. I choose my happiness. I choose the girl who once felt lost, and I remind her that you were never meant to be forgotten.

This time, I am loving myself the way I always wanted to be loved. And that? That is the first love that truly matters.

Is the American Dream Still Worth Pursuing?

 

The H-1B visa is a highly sought-after work visa for skilled professionals, particularly among Indians aspiring to build careers in the U.S. Over the years, it has provided thousands of Indian IT engineers, healthcare professionals, and other experts with opportunities to work at top American companies. However, Donald Trump’s immigration policies, especially regarding the H-1B visa, have sparked significant debate and uncertainty.

Why the H-1B Visa is Important for Indians:

Employing highly qualified foreign workers, especially in industries like technology and engineering, is made possible by the H-1B visa. Nearly 72% of all H-1B visa holders are Indian, making it an essential entry point for international career advancement. Thanks to this program, top tech companies like Google, Microsoft, and Amazon greatly depend on Indian talent.

Trump’s Past H-1B Policies (2016-2020):

During his first term as US president, Trump made getting an H-1B visa harder. His administration:
Increased salary requirements and higher percentages of rejected visa applications limited the number of visas that could be issued. These policies made it difficult for Indian professionals to find work in the United States, leaving them unsure of their future. Many companies also found it challenging to hire foreign talent due to strict regulations.

Trump’s Current Stance (2024-2025):

Trump's strategy appears to have changed since then. The U.S. economy benefits from skilled workers, he recently stated, which is why he supports the H-1B visa program. To remain competitive, tech behemoths like Elon Musk have also supported the idea of hiring talent from around the world. Some conservative organizations in the US, however, are against this because they think that foreign laborers steal American jobs. The future of H-1B visas is called into question by this dispute within Trump's party.

How Does This Affect Indian Professionals?

Even with Trump's seeming endorsement of H-1B visas, Indian professionals may still face challenges such as:
Uncertain Rules: Because policies are subject to change, it is challenging to plan.
Tougher Requirements: Higher salary requirements and more stringent eligibility requirements may limit job opportunities. Delays in processing visas: Prior restrictions have already led to backlogs and longer wait times.

India’s Response & Alternative Options:

India is attempting to repatriate undocumented Indians from the United States in response to immigration issues. In the meantime, a lot of Indian professionals are searching for other places to work, like Canada and Europe, which have more lenient immigration laws and employment prospects.

 

 

Conclusion: Should Indians Still Chase the American Dream?

Indian professionals continue to choose the U.S., but many are reconsidering their plans due to the uncertainty surrounding H-1B visas. Political debates continue to cast doubt on Trump's current support for skilled immigration. The best course of action for aspiring professionals hoping to work overseas may be to keep up with policy changes and research other nations.

 

When Jokes Make Headlines but Real Issues Don’t

 

"India’s Got Latent" was a YouTube show hosted by Samay Raina, featuring celebrity judges and contestants showcasing hidden talents. Contestants rated their performances, and if their rating matched the judges', they could win ticket sale earnings.

Although the show contained offensive jokes, Samay's audience knew what they were subscribing to before attending the live performance or watching any episodes of “India’s Got Latent”.

On February 8, an episode featuring guests Ranveer Allahbadia, Apoorva Mukhija, Ashish Chanchalani, and Jaspreet Singh sparked controversy due to a question Ranveer asked a contestant. He asked, “Would you rather watch your parents have s*x every day or join in once and then stop forever?” Ranveer accepted his mistake and apologized, saying, “Comedy is not my forte”.

Meanwhile, Apoorva Mukhija was attacked for “talking about the female reproductive part” by people who generally abuse their friends or people around them with either the “mother” word or “sister” word. Also, In the episode, it’s evident that the contestant to whom Apoorva made a comeback comment was the one who was talking about “having sensations in vagina”, she merely took a stand for herself, since when does self-defense count as committing a crime?

While I agree that a show intended for public release should avoid using obscene language, don’t you think most content creators often include such language? A singer can make comments about a woman’s body in their songs, a dancer may perform suggestive movements on family-oriented programs, and a family comedy show might reference a "Russian girl’s prize." Yet, when two content creators interact—one making an immature comment and the other defending herself—they are suddenly labeled as criminals. The creators do not deserve harassment or threats against their families. They are receiving public rape and death threats on social media; isn't that a crime? Just recently, Honey Singh performed a vulgar dance move in front of the entire audience at his concert, but he has not faced any questioning or criticism for it. Is it considered acceptable behavior? Where are the human rights advocates in this situation? I think the government and police should work on things that genuinely need attention rather than something that could have been solved only by making them apologize for what they said and having them take down the video. Issues like women’s safety, healthcare, education, etc., should be taken care of as a priority. Still, everyone in the world is talking about a “joke” that did not cause any physical OR mental harm to anyone. Still, we won’t talk about the girls going through eve-teasing on every corner of the road. Still, they want to talk about a “joke” but not about the fact that everyone is asked to keep their mouth shut when a girl or even a boy gets raped.

The issue with this country's leaders is that while they discuss growth, unity, and the protection of everyone, they fail to take meaningful action. A person accused of rape can go free to harm others again potentially, yet someone who made a joke is summoned to court for a hearing!